Love Stinks

“By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying—
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.”

“The happiest time in any man’s life is just after the first divorce.”

“American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced”

“The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce”

“She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.”

“I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me.”

“Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.”

“There are four stages in a marriage. First there’s the affair, then the marriage, then children and finally the fourth stage, without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.”

“Divorced men are more likely to meet their car payments than their child support obligations.”

“Divorce is born of perverted morals and leads to vicious habits.”

“Divorce and hard times at school, all those things combined to mould me, to make me grow up quicker. And it gave me the drive to pursue my dreams that I wouldn’t necessarily have had otherwise.”

“I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”